Wally-World

Dear Wal-Mart,
Who am I? I am a friend who visits late at night. Creepy? Maybe. You pretend to welcome me with your bright yellow smiley face and big glass doors but little do I know it is all a façade. I get out of my nice toasty car to experience the bitter cold and trudge through the parking lot to the great and spacious building which is called your store. I get to the glass doors expecting a warm friendly greeting from a nice old woman but what do I get? A sign saying this entrance is closed. Why do you trick me? What did I do to you? Do I ever trick you? Do I enter your store secretly say, “Psych I am going to buy my stuff at Target, I am just playing with you.”? No. Never. So I continue on my long journey to the other doors. Finally I am home. Oh how I have missed the nighttime hustle and bustle of workers playing around on pallet jacks and pretending to stock shelves but instead sleeping with their heads in boxes. After perusing the store I am ready to check out. Let’s see which line should I go in? Oh wait there is only one open.

Hum seem like false advertising to me! And here is the part that bugs me the most Wal-Mart. The only line open is the one furthest from the door you force me to enter and exit from. If you are going to make me enter from a certain door and purchase things from only one checkout line then why can’t you put them next to each other? Is that too much to ask for?

I hate you,
Michael Sproul